I believe in a fountain that will never dry
Though I’ve thirsted and didn’t have enough
Thirst is no measure of His faithfulness
He withholds no good thing from us
Perhaps one of the greatest ironies that I’ve discovered during these last ten months of living and working at a Christian ministry is that it is entirely possible to serve God and lack affection for Him. I am surrounded by reminders of Him, I have learned what answers work and what phrases sound best in prayer, I find it incredibly easy to deceive myself.
So many of these women cling to a beautified idea of God or Christianity because it provides them with a glimmer of hope—someday, things might change, someday, their lives might be better. Often, Jesus becomes another way out of the pit of addiction and despair. Except that Jesus doesn’t necessarily make circumstances better or consequences disappear.
I want so desperately for these women to see that Jesus is not a band-aid, a replacement, a new addiction, or a lifestyle. He is a Person! This God-Man asks His friends to follow Him, to lay down everything, to carry a cross. He wants friendship and intimacy. He wants love that burns like fire because His love for us burns like fire. But how can I help these women see this Man when I don’t always see Him? It is so tempting to allow Jesus to become comfortable to me. It is easy to see Him as a colorless mannequin instead of a living, breathing, Person. My own apathy scares me.
The Holy Spirit indwells me. He is jealous for me so that I can be jealous for Him. He loves me so that I can love Him.My heart cry is for a deeper love for Him. I want my service for Him to be an outflow of worship.
And in the meantime, He gently reminds me that even while I emotionlessly follow, He is still good. He still loves me. He is still faithful. He withholds no good thing from me.